I am often asked by people, “Why do I always start my courses by talking about Forgiveness?”.

Frankly, I cringe when I hear people say, “I’m not God to forgive! I’m a human!” And that’s where, according to me the entire misconception lies. Hence, I thought I’ll write about Forgiveness today. So, what is Forgiveness?

At the heart of it, forgiveness is the act of letting go of animosity, anger, and in some cases, the desire for revenge towards someone who has wronged you. In certain situations, people need to forgive themselves for doing wrong to others or themselves. Forgiveness can be a difficult process, but it has countless benefits for both the forgiver and the forgiven. In my eyes, especially for the forgiver.

I’m sure, you have heard the story of Nelson Mandela. In my eyes, it’s the perfect example of how forgiveness can bring about a greater good. Mandela was imprisoned for 27 years for his activism against apartheid in South Africa. In spite of facing several hardships, after his release, Mandela chose to forgive people who harmed him and worked towards reconciliation. This act of forgiveness was monumental in the democratic movement of South Africa. It is a prime example of the transformative power of forgiveness. But then, one would say, “Mandela was a great man! I’m not great! I’ll never forgive! How does Forgiveness help me anyway?!” Right?

So, I would urge you to take these facts into account. Research has shown us repeatedly, that forgiveness can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, and improve overall well-being. In a study conducted by the University of California, researchers found that forgiveness was associated with lower levels of cortisol, a hormone associated with stress. When we hold onto anger and resentment, our body releases stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline. This can lead to increased blood pressure, heart rate, and tension in the muscles. Chronic stress has been linked to a host of health problems, including heart disease, stroke, and depression. It also has other side – effects on your body like a weakened immune system and poor mental health.

For people who struggle with the idea of forgiving someone who has hurt them deeply, remember that forgiveness does not mean you accept or excuse the behavior. Nor is it about forgetting the act. Rather, it is about acknowledging the harm that has been done and choosing to let go of the negative emotions attached to it. It means accepting the past for what it was and moving on from it without the hope of a different outcome.

However, I know it’s easier said than done. So, try this. Try Empathy. In order to forgive someone, try to understand their perspective and the circumstances that led to the harm. This does not mean that the behavior is justified. However, empathy can help in creating a sense of understanding and compassion towards the person who has wronged you. Probably, when you see the situation from the other side, you might see yourself acting out in a similar manner? Or maybe not. Bottom line is, try empathy to free yourself! If you think about it, holding on to grudges only makes you a prisoner. You are only letting negativity, continue to harm you. So let go.

I’d like to conclude by reiterating that, forgiveness is the act of letting go of anger and resentment. Forgiveness can be a difficult process, but it is one that has the potential to transform relationships and promote healing for all involved. Just remember, empathy and a willingness to let go of negative emotions, can be a powerful force to enhance your personal and spiritual development.